The Continuing Misadventures of

A Titian-Haired Goddess and an Outrageous Hellion

Published 2016-18
The First Misadventure of a Titian-Haired Goddess and an Outrageous Hellion: Our Heroines Suffer a Scandal

BEING the FIRST INSTALLMENT of the compleat and unexpurgated Correspondence of two Ladies of Quality, who defied the constraints laid upon them by Society in order to consort with dashing rogues, overindulge in strong spirits, attempt to escape an intolerable betrothal, engage in some light vixenish teasing, and learn the details of a delicate and daring Matter of Honour; AND DESCRIBING the many gentlepersons of their acquaintance, their most shocking exploits, their most fashionable dresses, and the finest ballrooms; AND ILLUSTRATING their eternal sisterly devotion each to the other and their unflagging pursuit of Passionate Romance.

 
 
The Second Misadventure of a Titian-Haired Goddess and an Outrageous Hellion: Our Heroines Endure the Colonies

BEING the SECOND INSTALLMENT of the compleat and unexpurgated Correspondence of two Ladies of Quality, who are swept away to the Americas and encounter the crassness of the newly moneyed class,  are horrified to learn Gainful Employment is held in high esteem, toy with the affections of various lowly but wealthy Misters, play some strip-whist, and negotiate the delicate matter of being a captive bride to a Noble Savage;  AND DESCRIBING the lack of moors in the American landscape, the efficacy of assless chaps, the superior dentistry, the slightly addictive quality of doughnoughts, and the unfortunate state of New Jersey; AND ILLUSTRATING as ever their eternal sisterly devotion each to the other and their unflagging pursuit of Passionate Romance.

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The Third Misadventure of a Titian-Haired Goddess and an Outrageous Hellion: Our Heroines Brave the High Seas

BEING the THIRD INSTALLMENT of the compleat and unexpurgated Correspondence of two Ladies of Quality, who are heinously abducted by Pyrates, who defy their captors with their willful spirits, thrill to the sight of many well-sculpted and always bare chests, and who are cruelly separated from one another, from their cherished gowns, and from their restorative gin; AND DESCRIBING a masked scoundrel with mysterious connections to High Society, a free exchange of ‘booty’, their looming dread of a nameless Pirate Queen, and many shocking revelations; AND ILLUSTRATING as ever their eternal sisterly devotion each to the other and their unflagging pursuit of Passionate Romance.

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The Fourth Misadventure of a Titian-Haired Goddess and an Outrageous Hellion: Our Heroines Prevail

BEING AN AFFECTIONATE PARODY and the fourth and final installment of the compleat and unexpurgated Correspondence of two Ladies of Quality, who are cruelly sold into a silken prison, delight in the discovery of caftans, avoid the heated embrace of dark-eyed foreign potentates, and make a thrilling yet totally believable escape; AND DESCRIBING a tender reunion of parted lovers, attempted reconciliations with Certain Pyrates, a triumphant return to High Society, and a Really Good Grovel; AND ILLUSTRATING how their eternal sisterly devotion each to the other and their unflagging pursuit of Passionate Romance leads our heroines at last to their Happily Ever After.

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About the Collaboration

You know how some people talk to each other almost entirely in movie quotes? Or how musical theatre fanatics have whole conversations that are just lyrics to their favorite Broadway shows? Well, my friend Susanna Malcolm and I have known each other for years, and we are Old School Romance geeks: we speak in Romance to each other. It's its own language, with a specialized vocabulary, a generally expected cast of characters, and required tropes. We are fluent in this language, and it gives us so much joy you just can't even imagine.

Here's how it all began: Many moons ago, in a different life that involved cubicles and 401K plans, a goofy email was sent in which a Titian-Haired Goddess regaled an Outrageous Hellion with tales about the ball she'd attended the night before and all the many delicious tidbits of gossip she'd picked up there. In the grand tradition of "Yes, and..." a reply in kind was sent posthaste. What followed was a full day spent flinging Romance clichés at one another, giggling under our respective breaths and hoping our employers did not catch on. They didn't, and I enjoyed the best day of my life as an office drone.

Years later, we stumbled upon that beloved old correspondence and decided we should share it with the world - and what the heck, why not keep going? Thus were The Misadventures of a Titian-Haired Goddess and an Outrageous Hellion born. Basically, this is an experiment in extended improv between two dedicated lovers of the genre. We spent so many years of our lives utterly absorbed in Historical Romance, so it's nice to put that vast store of knowledge to some use.

These are installments of related, sequential short stories. And while the story does continue from book to book, I wouldn't say they exactly end in cliffhangers or anything. (I mean, I doubt you'll lose any sleep over what happens next.) If you'd like to be notified each time a new installment is available, subscribe to Helli & Tishi's mailing list HERE. (Please note that it is totally separate from my own mailing list!)

And yes, the first is available at several online retailers, but the rest are available exclusively at Amazon. Later in 2018, we plan to collect them all into one volume and sell it on all the sites.

We hope it gives you a laugh. It cracks us up, anyway.